Just got the rejection on the last outstanding full, from the agent I really, really wanted. I was expecting to be devastated until I read this:
"But when it switched up to the fallen angels and their love story, it just didn't work at all for me and it didn't seem to lend anything to the book as a whole."
And my brain exploded. I suddenly realized that it isn't me, it's them. I've been taking every bit of criticism to heart, thinking I had failed as a writer, failed these characters, but the love story between Belphagor and Vasily is the one thing I absolutely know is right about this book. So for this smart, terrific agent to simply not feel it, and to like the parts I was so uncertain about, the parts I was sure I had failed at...well, damn...it really IS all subjective!
As sad as I am about this rejection, I feel like I have a new lease on life as a writer. I can just keep querying until I find the agent that loves all of it. I don't have to crawl in a corner and berate myself for my failure and try to rewrite the entire story every time someone criticizes it.
Hell, I may just start querying on the other two books I had given up on. Someone, somewhere, may just finally get them.